Frustration, Anxiety, to Silence

By Suzanne Marie Punch

"When There’s so much to say, but I can’t speak the words.”

When everything and everyone is either ripped out of your life or people always leave. Nobody ever means what they say to me, even though I’ve always meant what I have said. Leaving me loving a little more than the other person. Leaving me broken hearted, more anxiety, and deeper depression than I started with in the beginning of the relationship.

When honestly a relationship between a husband and wife is the same as two best friends. A friendship that two people share together that they don’t share with anyone else. A friend till the end. It is devastating having to be in a hospital alone. What’s the point in fighting to live when nobody cares if you die.

It’s embarrassing when you’re asked for an emergency contact when admitted to the hospital, and you don’t have anyone to put as an emergency contact in case you do die. Therefore, people don’t want to even be notified if I died.

My life has been this way for a long time. I’m different, yes. I also have discovered that I may have some mental issues that have caused my behavior. Similar to Aspergers or maybe Autism. I’m unsure at this time. It has been diagnosed in 5 of my nieces and nephews. I always thought I was normal until I was in a relationship…