How People Make Me Feel VS. What They Tell Me

By Suzanne Marie Punch

Happy will make me feel about myself compared to what they tell me about myself, are completely different. They say things like, “ you’re so beautiful, best looking girl around.”

Yet, for some reason, I still feel like this slave girl or just here to keep other people from being lonely. I’m not allowed to do anything that I enjoy doing. If I start to do something I enjoy, then I’m given command to do something else.

I feel like I never get a break. All I do is clean up after people, 24 hours a day 7 days a week, and they do not appreciate it. They just make bigger messes than the ones before. they’re not going to clean it, and they know I can’t let any mess sit long enough for them to clean it, due to my obsessive compulsive disorder.

I’ve noticed, it’s like a game or they get enjoyment out of destroying the environment and me getting anxiety from it. Then watch me bust my ass, to clean it up again. It’s so very cruel for someone to do this. I thought this person was my best friend comment my protector. No! Because of me you think about committing suicide every day! And that’s not me.

I do not enjoy anything anymore. I began fighting for my kids back. I don’t have a personality anymore. I don’t know what I like or dislike do to my desire to…