The Power of Wanting

The power of wanting is not to want. Every time I want something, I never get it. That’s my power of wanting. I’ve been so discouraged from all this that I have decided not to want.

I have never in my life ever wanted another man. It seemed as though I was the one they wanted. I was their destiny, their desire. They won. The one time I wanted someone, they never wanted me back, only to hurt me. All that caused me to have no desire for anyone at all.

I wanted him again and again. Once again and again, he was still the same. Never wanting me. I am ashamed to even write this or let anyone know. My heart is truly broken. I have no reason to glow. I’m better than I was year after year, just never good enough for him.

I’ve learned to live broken inside. 💔

Love was never meant for me. It was always meant for them. Now, I choose to just be, just exist, for what reason, I have no idea. Cause everyone and everything I love is always taken from me. I’m always alone.

I fix the things that people see problems with in my life, and yet I’m still alone. Therefore, it isn’t what I do they don’t like. It’s who I am. And who I am is who I’m meant to be, who God created me to be, yet it is not enough for anyone. I guess I’m one of those, only a mother can love.

Just in the still, in the moment, waiting…