Women Who Knew Better

I knew better, saying enough about my stupid actions. I continuously seem to keep doing over and over. When am I going to ever learn. This man doesn’t care for me like I do him.
He’s verbally and physically abused me for almost two years now. He has made me shut everyone out of my life for him. He’s extremely jealous of every man. When all my attention is only on one man, him.
Everyone says that I’m so very beautiful and smart to be going through this over and over, like I have been. Deep down, I agree with them. But also at the same time, I’m so deeply in love with this one man.
He has no job, no car, and still lives with his family, which consists of his sister, her husband, and their three kids. He acts like he will never move out. Even though now we have a son together, who needs him more than anyone.
I believed that after our son was born , everything would change for the better. That is not at all what happened. Everything got worse.
He beat me so badly that I almost died. Our son got taken by child protective services due to both of us addicted to drugs. Life just is not fair sometimes.
We broke up for a while because he was seeing someone else, who definitely was not prettier than me, which really messed with my mentality up. I actually started seeing someone else also. And boy, was I happy. He made me smile all the time. I knew then that this was the kind of guy I could wake up next to without any regrets.
Unfortunately, it didn’t last but a few days, but it was the best few days I had all year. No, i didn’t tell him either. He broke it off by saying I just wasn’t the girl for him. I…